@kensanata @strypey @david_ross
yet you keep doing it. You keep saying you disagree.

@Wolf480pl @strypey @david_ross same here. I hope you see the difference between the situation. My point is that this has to be navigated. Starting conversations with strangers is not as simple as you two would make it seem. In my case, right now, your approach is fine. But we all need to keep in mind that not every conversation is the same.

@kensanata @strypey @david_ross
I can see the difference now, but I had no way to tell it when making my first reply. I only see the difference _after_ making the decision.
Also, I cannot define a predicate that will detect the difference. I can't draw a line.
Which IMO means we need more explicit information from a sender whether (and what kind of?) dicussion is welcome.

@kensanata @strypey @david_ross
Or at least an explicit notification next to the post button that "by clicking you agree to get comments from strangers"

@kensanata @Wolf480pl @david_ross if what you're saying is that when communicating with random strangers on the internet, it's hard to always keep it pleasant and constructive, then we agree. For sure. I wonder if the point of difference is where we think responsibility lies for each person's experience of that?

@strypey @Wolf480pl @david_ross I see there are two ways the situation can develop: those who don’t want to read your comment can go somewhere else, or you can take your comment somewhere else. One requires you to change, one requires the other to change. One leads to less people being in this community (them, and eventually their friends). Clearly the other offers better outcomes, and is entirely up to you. 🤔

@kensanata @Wolf480pl @david_ross think this a little black and white. I think what we're suggusting is people post their private venting or hold sensitive private discussions somewhere else, and use the elevator for travelling between floors. But yes, I agree that once it become clear all-comers discussion/ critical dialogue is unwelcome, it's best to move on and talk to someone else. I tend to take unreasonable aggression as a #RedFlag, and unfollow people.

@kensanata @Wolf480pl @david_ross as I've noted elsewhere, I think the super-busy #UX of vanilla #Mastodon amplifies (if not creates) the problem. Almost every person who's lost their shit at me for chiming in has been on a Mastodon instance. Having no way to navigate away from that notifications column is so in-your-face, it was making me feel anxious and grumpy until I decamped to #Pinafore.

@strypey Hm, interesting question whether the UI reinforces this... I have no idea. I never thought of it before. I also use a single column app on my phone most of the time, so I can't tell whether I'm more tense at the desktop.

@kensanata would be an intriguing #UX test get a bunch of users to toggle back and forth between multi-column and single-column, keeping track of when they are using which. Then see if there's any detectable increase in volatility or aggressiveness of posting when using the multi-column layout. I find it infuriating, and definitely got more aggro as a result before I returned to my usual chill status on #Pinafore

@strypey @kensanata

I just got back from being off of Mastodon for a couple weeks because I got in an argument with someone and I hate the feeling of waiting for more hate in my notifications

@golf_oil @kensanata I had the same feeling a few times using the vanilla #Mastodon UI. It reminds me of the feeling I used to have when I logged into my email, when I used to be on some mailing lists with some people prone to meltdowns. Judicious use of 'mute conversation', 'mute', and 'block' helps, and it's great those tools exist, but for me it helps more to be able to choose when I look at notifications, and not have them always in my face.

@strypey @golf_oil The weird thing is that the API has a “dismiss” notification and a “clear all” notifications call but the apps and the web client don’t seem to provide an access for it. Maybe that would help a little, too.

@strypey Heh, unfollowing is my favourite conflict handling technique. 😀

@kensanata despite inviting challenges and dissent, I also make judicious use of muting and even blocking. No idea is illegal, but that doesn't mean I have to put up with the output of other people's bad moods. That shit gets piped to /dev/null but quick ;) I regularly clear my mute and block lists though, after a sufficient cooldown period, and I really like 'mute conversation' as a non-nuclear option for temporarily enraged people.

@strypey I admire your clearing of mute and block lists. I just keep accumulating people. 🙄